that time i gave myself carpet burn and laughed at my reflection in the mirror for about three days and thought "ill never be insane enough," and that's good, that's sensible, that could make my mom talk about me on the telephone a little more and my grandma sleep a little more at night and my sister a little more okay with me godfathering her kids

I have a voice

it screams my head

it makes my head go Shrkkkkgaahhhhbbllllllaahhhrrrpphhhhsshhhohh

like a head across concrete

and

giving up hope seems quiet and peaceful

and

sleep is almost always better than awake

and I’m beginning to believe what the dreampeople tell me —