crying monotone

the man with the pale yellow shirt standing in the median was me for a moment 

me was nobody

for a moment

ambiguous grey bring no rain 

silver breeze will you sift away?

beneath my inside to defrost under disguised sunlight

outside i confusion her message to stop and rest 

i don’t understand

    “There is nothing to understand.”

what is nothing

    “Nothing is everything.” 

so i have to understand everything

    “You have to understand two things: 1. Yourself 2. The fact that you are nothing”

ok — .. — .

nature never stops trying hard 

light can't help illuminating 

light isn't inherently good

because of light we can see forests burn and penguins die

because of light there was an eclipse 

because of light i have to wear glasses 

what light manages to find this room

deserves to shine on my wrought spun dreams

i woke up in that mood again

for the 278th time this year 

try to remember forgetting the origin of lost memory the end of the beginning white to grey black to gray 

life is gray

settle for trying a little harder, everyday

no

that won’t work forever...

im not addicted i just like the smell 

of burning herbs transience, 

moonflower —

my soft anesthesia blade

wallow wallow 

you said

less than words 

a greater language 

wrapped me in ambiguous details

oooh 

let me focus in

im hallucinating 

ahhh

inside over around under — out ——

(flesh)

OW

im sorry... 

im sorry

i dont what to say other than im sorry