my hobbies include // lucky to be me

hanging small objects from ceiling fans 

redirecting my trajectory abruptly while pacing

sometimes enjoying fruits

smashing guitars in my imagination 

bounciness

soft intimations

experiencing exercise-induced religious experiences

   

self mutilation

/selfmutilation

//selfmutilation

///self mutilation

 

forgetting 

------

cloud gazer self mutilator rotting string holding up memories hanging from old tree branches -- to see our lives as theatre with no god director and everyone's a bad improvisor -- i am losing interest in this show --  i hear the tapdancing troupe in the basement below i blast through the wrought iron door i broke my knuckles bloody fucked in the process of joining the madmen beneath the madmen beneath and i let out the secret i held above for so long and in my search for air eternal something changed -- now we stare into cob webbed corners, a widow delivers bread on tuesdays meanwhile the air above burns my lungs as i let go now i would say i want to kiss your forehead and fall asleep haha i want to smash my forehead against the cobblestone wall and bleed the gloom thud of a solitary headbutt -- the ears ring bleed the music recedes bleed light headed now bleed lighter now bleed cloud head bleed fading now fuck my life

 

until i see you 

sweet dreams

i am lucky to be me